The common feedback my readers have been sharing for my blog is that I don’t post frequently. Yes, I agree and I am working on it but my problem is if i don’t have something to write I don’t write (hush hush….which is just not allowed in the blogging community :-P) . Well, this time my excuse is …Its been more than a week and I am still battling Viral Fever (like the real one and not the you tube channel).
Darn… I sound so vulnerable………
I have been reading about this word for some time now and my scope of research is just not limited to the pages of a book. If i have to go to the root cause of something i read, watch videos, talk to people about it without them having a slightest idea of what’s cooking up in my teeny tiny brain (I know that’s bad).
So what i found out initially was that Vulnerability is as horrifying in the current landscape as a mental disorder or some real difficult to pronounce and spell disease. At least that’s what people make you feel. Now answer some of my questions quickly. Have you ever been on the receiving end of these questions or remarks…
“Hey, why are you so sensitive?”
“Don’t you think you are taking it too much into heart?
“Take it easy….chill…not a big deal”
“Are you always so vulnerable?”
If the answer to above questions is a yes, then trust me you are at the right place and you should continue reading. This piece is for you.
I have been through all this and every time i am bombarded with such questions I had a deep sense of empathy for myself. Not my fault, because i was made to feel that way. But tell me something…..Is it wrong to live a wholehearted life? Whats wrong in having that strong sense of belonging. The only differentiating factor between people who have a strong sense of love and belonging and those who are devoid of it or struggle with it is that the first category believes that they deserve love. They have a strong sense of worthiness and they have the courage to be imperfect. They never fall into the trap of being perfect because they know being mortals that is just no achievable. Then why run after it. They are courageous enough to experience shame and be emotionally honest.
Vulnerability is the birthplace of wholehearted joy, creativity and belonging. I was recently reading a book for the Actor’s craft and i was actually surprised to know that its so important for the actors to be real and vulnerable. Because, if you polish yourself to perfection you can never act. If you curb, manipulate and numb your emotions the camera is your biggest enemy.
Just, hold yourself back and think for a moment. So many times in a day we try to numb ourselves to the outer world. If you follow a particular religion , you numb yourself towards others. Some colleague misbehaves at workplace, you wait for the next better opportunity to let him down. You know you have messed up, but you dont have the courage to admit even to yourself that you have messed up. My dear, you are not making yourself perfect, you are just making yourself numb.
“In order to live your life passionately and wholeheartedly you have to stop making people see what they want to see in you. Show them the real you, the vulnerable you. Love with a whole heart even when you know that you might not be loved back. Life will give you the best experiences when you are not hiding behind the mask of perfection.